The joy meter - appreciating my own work

I'm editing Auroradawn this week.  Back in 2005 I submitted the novel to a major UK children's publisher.  It was plucked off the slushpile, and I was asked to send in the whole novel.  But three months later, and a dozen email conversations on, the publisher decided not to make an offer on the novel.

I took that near-miss rejection very hard.  Somehow, it was worse getting so close to the holy grail of publication, then being told 'no thanks'.  And back in 2005 I wasn't on Facebook or Twitter.  And  while I'd attended lots of writers' conferences, I wasn't in touch with the publishing world and authors in the everyday, immediate way I am today.  Had I been, I'd have realised how commonplace such a rejection was.  And I would have realised that I had to just keep plugging away at it.

Instead, that rejection knocked my confidence in my writing.  Big time.  The novel went back on the shelf - and stayed there for the next decade.  It's now 2015, and I've never submitted the book anywhere else since that rejection.  Now I realise how stupid that reaction was, that I should have drawn comfort from the near-miss instead of being devastated by it,

I did a re-write on Auroradawn a year ago - and put the book back on the shelf again when it was finished.  But I've always loved the book's concept, which involves a sentient soulship, and decoding riddles.  So now I've taken it off the shelf again - and found that I love the writing.

Yes, there are still a few places where I haven't described or explained things enough, but they're minor things.  I've got as far as chapter eight now, and several times as I've turned the pages I've thought 'oh wow!  Did I write that?'  It's good, very good, even though I say it myself.

And this time, when the edit is finished, I've promised myself that the book is going straight out on submission.  It's time to get the work I love so much out to the world.

Wendy Metcalfe is the author of Panthera : Death Spiral, Panthera : Death Song and the short story collection Otherlives.  Find out more at www.wendymetcalfe.com