A sense of connection

This week I've been struggling through a male science fiction author's book.  It's the first in a highly-regarded series, written by a New York Times bestselling author.  The writing is crisp, and doesn't waste a word.  And yet... I got half way through, then put down the book. 

then started reading a fantasy book by a woman author instead.  The first scene is of a woman giving birth.  She is defying her cruel husband by getting her son smuggled out of the palace so that her husband can't kill him as she knows he will do.

At first glance, this book shouldn't engage me any more than the male author's did.  I have no interest in anything domestic, and even less in scenes of childbirth.  And yet I've already been drawn into the book and carried away by the story.  The experience set me wondering why some stores engage me and some don't.  We're told to read widely, and in other genres and other viewpoints, but so often when I do that I wind up stopping halfway through the book, and later abandoning it.

I think it's because I can't find a sense of connection with the characters in these stories.  I cannot empathise with them.  That isn't necessarily because they're male.  The teenage male dragonrider in Anne McCaffrey's The White Dragon is one of my favourites.  I think it has more to do with the beliefs and values the author espouses - and whether they mesh with my own.

One thing that will immediately throw me out of the story is the gratuitous sex scene.  This usually occurs early on in the book, so I don't have to read very far before deciding the book's not for me.

Another thing I can't stomach is old fashioned prostitutes in stories of the future.  Women with no agency and no life chances being forced to sell their bodies is a instant turn-off.  Even today, that doesn't reflect our current society.  Asexuality is now recognized, and we're already using sex bots.

So if the story is one where female characters have no agency, or where they don't own their own bodies, that book is very likely to be one which I can't connect with.  And even more likely to be one which I put down mid-read.  And in many cases I don't bother to pick those books up again to finish them.

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