A mild sense of panic

So it's less than a week now until I get on a 'plane to Dublin for the World Science Fiction Convention.  It's been a bit of a rollercoaster during the last few days.  First I've had problems with my laptop not shutting down properly and locking up at random times.  That's not a great thing to have when you're waiting for emails about panels from the Worldcon organisers.

I've also been having discussions with the moderators of the three panels I'm on.  One of those discussions has turned a little fraught.  It's not a nice experience to see someone interpret your words in a way which, in my mind, that wording doesn't support.  If it was anybody else's panel I would have just let it go, but as this was my idea which the con's programme accepted I couldn't just leave it at that.  I guess I'm being a little precious, but I did go to great lengths drafting and re-drafting that wording and it is galling to see it twisted out of context.  So I have a certain amount of tension about how that particular panel will go.

Another source of tension is wondering whether the moderator of another panel will get to the con. She's announced on Twitter that she won't be coming, but the same day I had an email from her about the panel, so right now I don't know if she'll be there.  If she isn't, then who will moderate that panel?  If it's going to be me, I need to do more research.

Then I was asked if I'd volunteer for under-represented panels.  I've said I could do one, but as of now I don't know if I'll be on it.  Which leave me with about three days to do some research for it if I am. Eek!  And I did another stupid thing by volunteering to be interviewed for a podcast, and it looks like that's going to happen.  More research I need to do.

I know it will all be okay in the end.  I'm in control of  doing research, and I'll do it.  What I'm not in control of is pilots and baggage handlers threatening to go on strike.  It looks like I'm going to avoid the latter - by a whole three days - but the former?  I'm not certain yet.

I usually go to Worldcon to have fun, but I've got rather more involved with the programme this time, hence my mild sense of panic.

By the time next Thursday comes it will all be sorted, and calm will have descended again.  And I'm grateful for the garden party social I'm going to on Sunday to take my mind off the whole thing.