A massive change

 Last week I got four rejections which really hit me hard.  Three were for short stories I had specially written for new anthologies.  Stories which I absolutely love and absolutely believe in.  The week was rounded off by a rejection from an agent four months after submitting a novel.  "There is much to admire in this" his rejection read but... I'm still rejecting it.

On top of that I'd been reading about labour disputes in the big publishers in the US.  The last straw was reading agent Piers Blofoeld's column in Writing Magazine about discounted author copies screwing authors over.

Something changed at the end of last week.  I thought about picking myself up again and submitting again, and my intuition said, "you don't have to do this".  I'm also mindful of the fact that I'm not far off seventy and I don't have decades to sit around and wait for someone to discover me.  I also suspect that some of the views expressed in some of my stories are a little too challenging for white cishet people, who make up most of the editors.

So I made a decision to step away from submitting to the mainstream.  I made the decision to take back control and indie publish.  I already have two indie published books out there, which were really an experiment done with friends.  They're not bad books, but I really want to start again.

The task is huge.  Before I start publishing I need to set up a website and I want to do that myself.  I need to sort out tax and banking issues too.  Most likely I'll set up a company to handle book receipts.  I started by joining the Alliance of Independent Authors and downloading all their guides.  I'm working my way through a huge guide which will probably take me a week to read.  Already I've learned so much, and it's worth thinking those things through first before I start.

In a case of the universe stepping in to help, I got a Facebook notification yesterday about a funding for writers meeting.  It's a free event happening today, and I happen to be free, so I'm going to it.  I was grappling with the idea of how to get money for website, cover designer, editor, and this could be a source.

You know that feeling you get when you sense the universe is nudging you in a new direction?  I've really felt that this week.  From tarot card readings telling me I'm starting a new career, to Facebook and Twitter posts which just happen to bring me knowledge when I need it, to last-minute notifications of where to find money, it really feels like I'm being supported now.

This is a massive change in mindset for me, but it's time.  I can't sit around and wait to be discovered any more.