Keeping the Author Out

"Sometimes," writes Lorraine Mace in the September 2016 issue of Writer's Forum, "an otherwise excellent story is marred by authorial intrusions."

I agree with her - up to a point.  Certainly she's right to challenge the telling of information that a character can't possibly know.  And she's right to call out the places where we authors tell the reader  what the character is thinking at a key moment, rather than showing it.

I always have to be on the lookout for that one in my stories, because it is one of my bad habits.  And at my worst I've told the reader how a character feels, then gone on to show her feelings in the very next sentence.  That really isn't a good idea.

This happens when I've pulled back out of a character's head.  "She felt this" is me the author telling the reader from a great distance what she's experiencing.  But when I remember to get behind her eyes and into her mind then I can speak through her.

But for me the biggest challenge in keeping myself out of a story is when the story is trying to put across a belief or value I believe strongly in.  Then the author intrusion risks becoming a full-blown sermon.  

In some stories I've tackled the issue by having a minor character put forward the (usually controversial) point I want to make.  I choose to put those words into the minor character's mouth because she is usually challenging prevailing culture.  It is an attempt to slip the issue past an editor (and the reader) by stealth, without making my main character unlikeable.  I choose to get my point across in a brief snatch of dialogue between the two characters.

This is something I always have to check when I've finished an 'issue' story.  And one of Lorraine  Mace's tips in that article is really helpful for that.  She says, "One way to keep the author out is to ask: who is thinking or saying this?  If you cannot attribute it to the viewpoint character (or someone speaking to that character)... You need to rewrite."

This is really good advice.  And when I check that I've done that it makes it much easier to keep the zealot In me in check and keep the story in balance.